Welcome to Gavisgone’s Book Club
This is going to be the first of a series of articles about books that have inspired me, influenced me or otherwise entertained me over the last few years.
I’m going to label them under the catch-all title ‘Book Club’ for now. The format will depend on how I feel while I’m writing them. They might be reviews, synopses, critiques, summaries, blurbs or just a rambling tangent of the ideas found in them.
Hopefully you might even be inspired to read the books yourself. They will probably do a better job of explaining some of the concepts I write about than I do, and in any case having a reading hobby is more beneficial to you and your life satisfaction than most things.
Beware of people online recommending you lists of books to read. Especially if they have a large following, as you might run the risk of just reading books they recommend. Your tastes and interests should not be a slave to lists or the curation of a single person.
There’s no list of ‘right’ books to read, just like there’s no ‘right’ way to live. Life’s too short to read books you don’t enjoy, and the worst thing would be to put yourself off reading, so easily done when there’s a cheap alternative on your phone.
Your own curiosity should lead you, and you don’t even need to go online to find ideas of what to read: books have always referenced other books or led their readers to go down rabbit holes, even if the next one is just a book by the same author. Or you can browse in a bookshop.
So, with all that being considered, here is the first in a list of books that I recommend you should read:
Book #1 – Flow
Which brings me to my first book: Flow. There are several reasons why this is the first one I’m recommending as my favourite psychology book. The author with the unpronounceable Hungarian name (I’ve Googled it and his full name is pronounced something like ‘Mee-high Cheeks-sent-mee-high’) is one of the first psychologists to conduct research into the state of flow, and therefore one of the founding fathers of positive psychology.
If you’ve read a few articles on this site you might have noticed I’m kind of obsessed with what this book is about. I was obsessed long before I’d ever read it, or had ever heard of the concept, or even understood that it was a Thing that people talked about and researched. As far back as being hooked on computer games as a kid, and then in real life in pursuits like snowboarding or running. But not only is the subject matter of personal interest, it’s also a highly readable and inspirational book.
Positive psychology isn’t about having positive emotions or being ‘happy’ all of the time – this isn’t how we’re meant to live. It’s more about teaching, practicing and facilitating the positive action that makes life worth living, or makes it manageable in times of difficulty (which could be anything from illness to difficult life events to immediate challenges and stressors). A good example of this is when you’re in a flow state.
What is ‘flow’?
Flow is a state of being where time flies by and tasks are performed effortlessly. It’s where you’re so absorbed in something that you kind of forget you’re doing it. All that matters is you and the thing you’re doing.
According to the author:
“The best moments (in one’s life) usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen.”
Flow comes when you do things for fun. But it’s also the state in which you learn. It happens when you push yourself just a little bit – not too much that you get frustrated, not too little that you get bored. So it ends up being both enjoyable and beneficial to you. It’s why being productive isn’t the dirty corporate slave-driver and chirpy fitness-freak word that most of us think of it as. Being productive just means doing the things you actually enjoy doing, and doing them well.
I don’t think you can be in flow forever. Picture Michael Jordan in the Last Dance. His whole career- and it seems, his whole life, was lived in a state of flow. He never switched off. It’s kind of exhausting watching him. It’s why he had to retire halfway through his career – he was exhausted. But it’s a state that, if you practice it in one domain, it’ll make it easier to achieve in others.
And the more you flow through life, the easier and better it gets.
Why I’m recommending the book:
I could go on as I got caught in a bit of a flow writing this. I had a load of examples summarising the concept and the book but I deleted them because I want you to read the book yourself, and I don’t want these articles to be too long.
The author is an academic heavyweight but he’s an enthusiastic and engaging writer, and his enthusiasm makes this a very enjoyable and inspirational read.
The thing that puts people off self-help and pop-psychology books (this is neither) is that too often there are specific rules to adhere to, doctrines and dogma that must be followed. There’s an unwritten rule that the more expertise and research grows in a field, the more likely that non-adherence to the best practices of that field will be equated with unhappiness and death (think of all the headlines linking x to ‘increased mortality’, written by experts who promote the thing that solves ‘x’).
It makes sense that experts will want to sell or promote their expertise as the one true path to well-being and happiness. And it’s also the case, as I mentioned in the intro about book recommendations in general (don’t forget that), is that there are no rules for life and that although you can get information, inspiration and motivation from online teachers, the key to a happy/satisfied/decent life (choose your favourite) is seeing what works best for you with the information available.
How You Flow Is Up to You
This is different.
“A joyful life is a life of individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe” – Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi
The best thing about understanding flow though is that personal meaning is intrinsic to its occurrence. No-one’s telling you what to do to experience or practice it. You get to choose what the ‘something worthwhile’ is. So whatever you choose to attach meaning to, whether voluntarily or through conditioning and life experience – that’s where you’ll be able to tap into states of blissful existence, and – if it’s your goal – success as well.
Some pastimes like watching TV and others are ruled out (as they provide little challenge or real engagement) but other than that, it could be anything from sewing to photography to cooking to chatting to strangers or scanning items at the checkout in work or playing football or driving motorbikes or giving speeches or…
Conclusion
Stories of top-level athletes sit side by side with inspirational tales of car factory production line workers who have become the best – and happiest – at what they do simply because they found the tasks themselves so enjoyable.
We all know that striving and achievement leave many people hollow, and this book is a good reminder that the real enjoyment of our lives is in how we spend our days. And despite what it might sound like, it’s not always about doing, as much as it is about being – meditation, for example, is practice of letting your thoughts flow through you; in doing so, you flow effortlessly with them.
When I talk about Flow I’m always reminded of an unrelated podcast interview I heard years ago which I haven’t been able to find again. In it the guest recounts a story of a guy he once knew whom he described as the happiest man he’d ever known. He was the groundskeeper for a golf course and lived in a simple shack nearby. As part of his duties he took it upon himself to go out every day and shoot hundreds of gophers who infested the golf course every day.
They must have bred like rabbits because his job was never-ending, and every day he’d have to get up again and shoot hundreds more gophers. He lived a life of simple contentment. When the interviewer asked him why he was so happy in his life, he replied: “’Cos every day I keep shootin’ them gophers, and every day they keep comin’ back!”
Whatever your views on the questionable animal conservation practices of the golf course in question: this is a guy who had found his flow.